The Irish have invaded my quiet little flat up in Edinburgh. What was eventually, after a couple of weeks of scrubbing and careful baking (to make it smell nice) has been taken over by what I can only describe as the Banshee's more noisome cousins.
I'm no stranger to guests, indeed I love having nice people over to stay. My preferred ones are close friends who have the same routines as me or the occasional wildcard who forces me to be outwith my comfort zone. The latter are, like the Swedish say, like fish- more than three days hanging around and they start to smell. I'd signed up during my quieter months in Cyprus to the phenomenon which is couchsurfing. I plan to partly travel across to China sleeping in people's homes, on their couches, floors or other space. In order to gain authority on my credential as a non-psycho and a real human, I have hosted some incoming travelling folk in my wee flat up here. Which has been a hoot! MY first guest was a smiley Korean girl studying in France. She stayed for 4 days (3 nights) during the festival and I had, against my initial reservations, a good time taking her to various shows. She loves musicals, which, unfortunately, I hate but I put aside my incomprehension of singing ridiculous songs about nothing to make her feel welcome. We went to see "Frank Sinatra" (ho ho, he was crap with a capital K), the Opera (more succesful but in English, which is weird) and the ballet (very very good..). All in all, she had a blast and then, as she was leaving, admitted she'd been shy about coming as it was her first time alone but that I'd made her feel at home and like Edinburgh was the place to be and she hoped to come and see me soon. And I, being a bumbling eager to please ninny, said she could come and stay whenever and she laughed and warned me she'd be staying a month next time.. Fish! Fish!! Haven't you heard of Fish?!!
Then a couple of days break (read: cleaning) and I'm hosting a delightful German girl just for the one night. I've never met anyone who's quite so happy to meet you and so positive and laughy (a word?) about e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. It's nice.. it's a change from my usual grumpy neutrality and it encourages my lighthearted side which NNav claims "laughs at everything". It's true.. if I'm encouraged, I will find everything funny. Although in her case (NNav, it's because I find her amusing, probably because we've spent the last 9 or so year being friends, surely sense of humour rubs off..?) Anyway! German girl was delighted at my encouraging giggles and my obsession with cake, chocolate and all things bad for you at the moment (I'm pre-menstrual) and declared, as I left her at the bus station, that she hadn't expected to make such a connection and that we're really similar. I shoudl see her in Germany etc... which is really very touching and I'm not unmoved by either experience. They were both lovely and the kind of globally minded people (whether it's in the blood or the mindset) who I always deeply admire and find intriuging.
This string of top quality guests, for whom it was a pleasure to cook for and show around has abruptly been sliced off. Through the door this afternoon come The Three. A.k.a my Irish (note- the dirty one) flatmate's "Girlies from hooooooome!! Yipeee!!" All three look identical and have the same names- like aisling, aileen and lesley or some such and come in three shapes and sizes: bean pole, medium and watermelon on matchsticks. The Three announced that they are staying three nights but not to worry as they were going to be on the lash for all those nights so I wouldn't see them, aye?!! They've set up camp in my living room. No piano, no TV, no where to sit. My bedroom is a cupboard, my study is a shoe box with no window. I shall take to sitting on the kitchen floor to have my breakfast as I doubt that, following "a night on the lash" that the living room will be free at 8:30am to be able to use the dining table.
I made such amistake getting hiim as a new flatmate. He's horrendous, his harridans girlfriends are horrendous and he's taken to be lecherous towards teh Grecian who's bravely trying to continue seeing me despite having to run the gauntlet from the front door to my room without being cooed over or groped or stared at hungrily (a one time accusation).
On that note.. I took Jackfrost's previous slap on the monkey wrist comment to heart and I realised that he's right. why shoudl I punish myself pining over the unobtainable, when there's someone who very nearly fits all my basic criteria and is kind who seems to love me irrationally and wholly. Even more irrationally because I've developed a sensitivity to (I suspect) wheat and keep farting like a flame on wet coal. He finds it hilarious that someone otherwise so demure, well spoken and apparently, pretty should have such a noisy bum. It's quite embarrassing but as long as he finds it hilarious, I'll keep farting. Maybe it'll drive out the Irish and his hags.
