the accidental girl

No no, it's not about a sycophantic attempt.. monkey went climbing this weekend! Monkey is becoming a fish-goat:
"Ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no river wide enough.." ec..

So! As I looked up at the (very) high and (very) sheer rock face on an Ayer's rock type formation near Paphos, I suddenly realised what an idiot I am. With a strength:weight ratio that would make a spring weep, I tightened my harness, clamped down my helmet and resolved to disprove physics.
I got to about 5m up when I suddenly found myself on a 2m squared area of absolutely sheer rock. No secret handholds, hornets buzzing around, my leg strarted to shake from the weight. The instructor shouted at me to breathe, and I did and miraculously it worked, I my leg calmed down, I shifted to the left and Lo! there was a crack in the rock, the tiniest thing, but I managed to squeeze my hand into it and climb up. Once I'd overcome that patch, the rest was easy and I sped up to the top with little difficulty.
The next one was even higher, with a concave smooth niche which offered little hope for climbability (a word. As of now.) I got to that section, and my anchor was bawling that I should go left, sounding bored with how obvious it seemed. There was nothing to the left. I moved my foot a little, which allowed me to grab areally good crevice and away I went, I grappled up with the speed of monkeys and got to the top in no time. The most fun was walking down the surface again. Like a mini-abseil. My anchor then had a go at climbing and got stuck at teh same point (not so smug now are we, chicken?) and he took ages to go up. Although he did acknowledge my attempt with a 'bravo'.

Then I tried abseiling over an outcrop into a gorge, which was fun until I lost my footing under the outcrop and went spinning into the rock surface. My harness wasn't tight enough so the rope catch was an awkward distance from my body which made me go down haltingly. I have bsuises and scratches to show for my day, but it was fun! My pecs are screaming today as are my forearms but it was definitely exhilirating!

Ah, I have found a great source of procrastination: Morphthing.com
I've been through and morphed my potential babies according to celebrities who most match my exes, thus whittling down what kind of looks I should be aiming for seeing as attractive babies are statistically more likely to succeed in life. Shallow? Yes. Waste of time? Definitely. Fun? you bet!!!

Me and the Grecian would have had:

Me and my Geordie love would have had this little monkey:

Me and my rock star Scot:

Me and my fiancee of a time:

Me and M (although i had to use a photo of James Blunt to get the closest approximation..):

Me and Mufasa (trust this one to mess up more than the other pictures! Unintentional but De niro's pic was a it skewed):

So! Which is the best baby? I think the one of me and the Geordie looks most like I did when I was a littl'un but dont let that be a deciding factor. Remember, you are deciding my future happiness.
Jokes, relax.

So we have a regular scuba baby here. Last weekend I went on my first wreck dive and it was scary but really really good. It was quite deep, I went to maybe 32m and had to inch my way down a rope to get there. One on the wreck, there were so many fish. Huge sea bream which just weren't scared of us, I could feel them as they slicked past my hands. Long saucer-eyed barracuda darted amongst teh bream, trying to catch some. These massive black cat-fish-like fish swimming lazily past, eyeing us from behind rusted railings.

My buddy's air tank slipped out of its harness and we had a moment where we all swam together, holding it to until we were on the flat side of the wreck and coule sit and re-attach it. Quite nerve-wracking but it's nice to feel adrenaline pump once in a while. I decompressed at 5m and was suddenly freezing cold. Your teeth chattering underwater isn't fun- my lips ached from being pursed around the plastic mouthpiece to stop water flowing in with every involuntary spasm.

It was fun though and I even managed to have a whole converstion in Greek over coffee afterwards and share an 'asteia' or a joke. You'll have probably heard it before but here goes:
A man goe to see a psychiatrist to treat his multiple personality disorder and eventually, once treated, he receives his bill. "Why have I been charged so much more than expected?!"
"Well, with you, it was a group therapy."

I think that's what H meant as 'boringly sane'.... I need to be less boring.

ZOMG I can't believe I never did this sooner!!!

Scuba diving is amazing. I took to it like a fish to er.. well, you catch my drift(wood). Ok ok I'll stop.

So my first dive, we went to this protected bay where people always start. There were huge fish everywhere!!!! And we rubbed the rocks to let particles float around- the fish went mental and gobbled up all the bits. He'd said that my first dive normally one only goes to 5m because equalising feels weird/hurts people. I think as my snorkelling takes me to depths of 6-7m though I had already broken that barrier so the next time I checked my altimeter, we were at 13m! Where I found an octopus, conch shell (promptly forgot it at the beach, d'oh) and some dead coral-like structure.

Second dive, we went along the coast and I dived near the Cyclops cave. It was cool mainly because the geography of the seabed is such that it looks like a plain with a mountain range and then going down the mountain range on the other side, you descend to 19m!! It felt so weird looking up and seeing such an expanse of blue before the underside of the waves. That dive was scary as I saw some scorpion fish and the current was strong.

Third dive, I jumped straight into a cave at cavo greko. It was pretty scary as I couldn't balance properly and I kept sinking, then floating too high and bumping my head. It was fun swimming through underwater caves though!

Saturday I'm going on my first wreck at Zenobia.. SO EXCITED. Tell you what, scube is hard work though. My thighs were fairly screaming last time. Anyway, I'll try to get some photos!!

Flip flops bad, Birkenstock good.

I should have really clicked on to the fact that my back always got really bad once I was here. I realised, UK- I wear trainers, with insoles to keep my high arches afloat, Cyprus- flip flops, which have approximately the support of a dental floss bungee rope.

So today, my big expenditure: Birkenstock sandals. The saleswoman, in her caring way, tried to get me to buy full on orthopedic shoes which wouldn't look out of place in a second hand car dealership, perhaps being obscured by only the salooniest of volvo tanks, but I resisted and bought sensible sandals instead. Afterall, it's an alternative to flip flops I'm after, not canoes.

My verdict (after 2 hours of wear)? They're amazing. My back is no longer sore (result!) and they're so comfy! A bit clumpy but I'll make sure to dress a little more femininely and no-one will guess I'm a hide-away Engineering geek.

So Monkey Snr is all better. Pumped full of drugs and zapped with electro-therapy and he's back up and running. Good as new, new paint job from his 2 days in the sun, a good wax to get rid of the sticky glue from the sensor pads and even new treads in the form of loafers. There's life in the old banger yet.

Must say, he looked much better post hospital and the nurses were all very nice. His Dr (a pretty young lady) even gave him a kiss and a hug when he signed out and produced a box of brownies. That really made his day!

Monkeypie has found another hobby to keep her entertained and make us of her exile on a relatively warm island. This week saw my first foray into scuba diving! My first dive will be on Saturday and I cannot wait.

An obsession with underwater swimming started when I was very very young. It was the closest I could get to flying, to movement in 3D with little resistance. I'd forgotten myself, this childish nugget within my soul. This summer brought it all back, endless hours of snorkelling, boring my friends with the tales of the fish I'd seen, coming home to look them up on the internet and catalogue them and their behaviour, a determination to improve my breath under water. With flippers I found I could stay for enough time to explore the rocks at 7m depth. Always floating back up, disappointed in my landlubber's lungs and gazing longingly at the parts yet unexplored which would require a far hardier set of lungs.

I don't know how those free divers do it- down to unthinkable depths for up to 3 minutes?! Craziness.

Anyway, I'm finally investing in my little dream to be a scuba diver and so to see some fish! First open water certification, then advanced, then maybe rescue, I'll see how keen I am. Next week I'm buying my 3/4 suit and boots YAY.

So far, the fish I've seen are blue spotted cornet fish, a painted comber, various bream and perch and a really ugly flatfish, not to mention sprats and a couple of beautiful unidentified ones. I'll do some research.