No no, it's not about a sycophantic attempt.. monkey went climbing this weekend! Monkey is becoming a fish-goat:
"Ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no river wide enough.." ec..

So! As I looked up at the (very) high and (very) sheer rock face on an Ayer's rock type formation near Paphos, I suddenly realised what an idiot I am. With a strength:weight ratio that would make a spring weep, I tightened my harness, clamped down my helmet and resolved to disprove physics.
I got to about 5m up when I suddenly found myself on a 2m squared area of absolutely sheer rock. No secret handholds, hornets buzzing around, my leg strarted to shake from the weight. The instructor shouted at me to breathe, and I did and miraculously it worked, I my leg calmed down, I shifted to the left and Lo! there was a crack in the rock, the tiniest thing, but I managed to squeeze my hand into it and climb up. Once I'd overcome that patch, the rest was easy and I sped up to the top with little difficulty.
The next one was even higher, with a concave smooth niche which offered little hope for climbability (a word. As of now.) I got to that section, and my anchor was bawling that I should go left, sounding bored with how obvious it seemed. There was nothing to the left. I moved my foot a little, which allowed me to grab areally good crevice and away I went, I grappled up with the speed of monkeys and got to the top in no time. The most fun was walking down the surface again. Like a mini-abseil. My anchor then had a go at climbing and got stuck at teh same point (not so smug now are we, chicken?) and he took ages to go up. Although he did acknowledge my attempt with a 'bravo'.

Then I tried abseiling over an outcrop into a gorge, which was fun until I lost my footing under the outcrop and went spinning into the rock surface. My harness wasn't tight enough so the rope catch was an awkward distance from my body which made me go down haltingly. I have bsuises and scratches to show for my day, but it was fun! My pecs are screaming today as are my forearms but it was definitely exhilirating!